FRAN'S RAMBLINGS FROM ISRAEL
a very personal view of tragedy
By our special correspondent: Frances Yoeli

This is a difficult article to write because I truly cannot figure out what is going to happen next. The holidays for us are over tomorrow and that means going back to a regular work schedule. During these holidays people usually do fun things with their children such as travelling around the country to national parks, take little children to the special parks for them, go up north to enjoy the autumn atmosphere or go down south to simply enjoy. Lots of people usually go to movies as families, spend shopping time in malls and do the eating out fun things.

This year, and with the best weather we have had in a long time - not hot, not cold, few allergies, just enough rain to cool things down.... there are no people moving around. the malls are empty, the national parks are empty, the festivals that were scheduled were all cancelled except for one. The one festival that was not cancelled is called the Abu Gosh festival. This is a classical music festival which integrates Arab and Israeli musicians. It is a wonderful festival and is held in a little town called Abu Gosh about 15 kilometers out of Jerusalem. The entire town of Abu Gosh is Arab, a mixture of Christian Arab and Muslim Arab. Less than 5 kilometers away are several small Jewish settlements - mostly Kibbutzim and of course Jerusalem is in the background above the town. People who are supporting peace and the idea of being able to live one nation alongside the other, came from all parts of Israel to support the festival. The musicians who played were all Israelis as the Arab musicians cancelled. I'm told the music was a piece by Mozart and was marvelous.

There were several "peace tents" set up in the country. These tents were set up to support discussions between Arab Christians, Muslims and Druze, and Jews. Many people came and went and worked hard towards creating a shared hope for peace.

Today's news shows the Arab conference in Egypt. Each leader cries for religious wars to bring Israel back to the boundaries of 1948. There is a double message, no war - but we have to show the world where the Jewish population should be. The rise in antisemitism around the world is frightening. I am reminded of the ship filled with Jews who left Europe during WW2 looking for a place to settle. No country accepted these people. They were returned to Germany and burned in the concentration camps. I believe the name of the ship was the Ulua. Antisemitism is frightening to the world, for the world, and for all peoples.

I had an EMDR supervision group meeting and did a debriefing with my colleagues and we worked on strategies of how to proceed and to be as prepared as we can to work with people to reduce anxieties and fears over the long term. Each colleague presented different aspects of their own states of fears and anxieties. Tension is high for everyone.

Amir, my army son, who I have been so worried for, has been "confined to a base", grounded so to speak. Quite frequently there are "little trials" for soldiers in the army. Sometimes it is for "not having your hat on properly", sometimes it is for not having a shirt on right, and sometimes for missing equipment and sometimes for refusing to do something.

After the 3 soldiers were kidnapped (two from his unit), the Hezbellah, shelled his base. He happened to be on one side of the door behind which one of the mortars landed and got shell shocked and a little burned as well. The conditions on the base are such that there is a bunker, and then there are towers at which guard duty is performed. To get to the towers and posts for guard duty there is very open space. Under the circumstances, my son decided he didn't want to go out there anymore, so he refused. The refusal landed him in the kitchen doing what we all know as KP duties, and other types of functions and it cost him a trial. After about 10 days he was taken off the base, sent down to another base and on Thursday was tried and given 14 days confinement in a base in the West Bank. That means basically he cleans up the grounds, and is the low man on the 'totem pole' has no telephone privileges and doesn't get out to the house and I can't go to see him.

He should be home in about 12 days and then he is to go back to the same unit. This worries him and I, but right now I am truly more worried about what happens next in this country. Nothing is truly quiet. People are getting shot at and hurt. Roads get closed. The country is cut up and people are fighting with each other on what to do. The government is more of a mystery than politics and nothing is clear, clean or healthy.

Amir was home for about 4 days and left this morning to re-sign for his gun and then he was to go up north to find out what happens next, but he couldn't get a bus up to the north in time for the last convoy so he is home again tonight. I am glad to see him but there is tension. The tension comes from knowing that he is playing with a system that is difficult to beat. The cost for him might be another couple of weeks in a jail setting or he just may get away with the overnight at home. Soldiers are not allowed to hitchhike anymore and he really would have missed the convoy.

I will find out and know more tomorrow when he makes his return trip and has his talk with his commanding officer.

I have to trust his judgment even if I don't agree with it or like it. I grew up with "obey" the rules. It is different here - sometimes it is okay to break the rules and sometimes bend them totally out of shape. So I wait and feel tense, a mother's prerogative I suppose.

Amir wrote more poetry while he was in the "confinement - jail". He is good. He should be writing not arming. He, too, is sad, tense and worried. He is becoming a man. He is gentle and kind, and a gentleman, only he gets older. I don't understand the passing years. but he gets older. He will be 20 next week. I remember 20, seems like eons have gone by since then. 20 in New York, what a glorious year.

My daughter lives on the street where the car bomb went off in Jerusalem. She was not home.

So much for personal ramblings. May the miracle of peace precede Armageddon - thank you for your continued prayers, light and healing love.

Fran from Israel

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